The Way I Am
by Crymson Pahoyhoy
Summary: Fed up with Demyx's happy attitude, Zexion confronts him about it only to find out that Demyx acts the way he does because of the traumatizing death of his mother. Rated M for blood and suicide it could probably be T but...


Disclaimed

**The Way I Am**

* * *

Zexion walked through the park in search of a quiet and shaded spot in which to read his book. His fathers had insisted he go out and get some fresh air, and this is what he had settled on. As he rounded the corner by the duck pond, a familiar head of oddly styled blond hair greeted him. What was Demyx doing here? He approached the bench where the blond was seated, sitting down quietly on the other end, watching as Demyx threw bits and pieces of bread at the gathering ducks.

Finally noticing that someone was sitting beside him out of the corner of his eyes, Demyx turned to look at the newcomer. "Oh, hey Zexy! What are you doing here?" Demyx asked with a wide smile.

Zexion just shrugged, "I was looking for a quiet place to read actually, emphasis on quiet."

"Oh, okay. I'm just here to feed the ducks," Demyx smiled merrily, tossing another handful of breadcrumbs, "My mom and I used to do this together a lot."

Zexion raised an eyebrow at the unwarranted explanation, "What's the deal with you?"

Demyx just cocked his head to the side, "What do you mean?"

"I mean you. I mean your act. I mean this façade that you put up," he said, using his hands for emphasis.

"Façade? What façade?"

"Listen, Demyx. I can see that you aren't really this happy go lucky guy, for lack of a better term."

Demyx just laughed softly, "Alright, you caught me." Still smiling, the blond just continued to happily feed his ducks.

"Stop that," Zexion scolded.

"Stop what?"

"That! Why do you feel that you have to put up such fronts around those you consider friends?"

"Aw, you consider me a friend?" Demyx grinned before being silenced by the look that Zexion sent his way. The smile faded off of his sunny face before Demyx spoke again, "I just don't want other people to feel sorry for me, or pity me or start feeling down because of me."

"What should you care so much about what others feel?" Zexion questioned.

Demyx shrugged, "Why don't you care how others feel?"

Zexion just raised his eyebrows in response.

Demyx paused in feeding the ducks to lean back and look up at the endless clear blue sky. "I guess I saw how much my moods affected my Dad after everything, so I always tried to stay happy for him and I guess it kind of stuck and I don't even realize that I am doing it anymore."

"Your Mom died nine years ago. That's more than enough time for your father to have gotten over it."

Demyx laughed a dry laugh, "You really don't know anything, do you, Zexion?"

"I know that your mom died," Zexion shrugged.

"Obviously you don't know how she died. It's because of that I am the way I am."

.

.

"I'm so sorry, Anna," Dr. Tot said sympathetically, "The chemo didn't seemed to get the results that we wanted. The cancer is still there, and is more aggressive than ever."

Anna let out a strangled cry as her husband squeezed her hand tightly, large tears appearing in his own green eyes. Demyx reached over and placed his tiny hand over his parents clasped hands.

Tearing his eyes away from his beautiful wife, Edward looked over at the doctor. "How long…" he couldn't bring himself to finish the sentence.

Dr. Tot just shook his head, "I dare say no more than a few months. The best thing would be to live as comfortably as possible over the next couple of months. Spend as much time together as you can. Cherish the time that you have left."

.

.

"I'm really tired, Edward. I don't know how much longer…" Demyx heard his parents talking in the kitchen, so he stopped to listen in when he heard how sad his mom sounded.

"Don't talk like that, Anna," Edward pleaded, "I can't live without you beside me."

"Oh, Edward, I love you too, but you need to live on. You have our son to live for now."

"But I can't do that without you!"

"You have to believe yourself and be strong for Demyx."

Not wanting to hear any more, Demyx wiped away his few tears before running back up to his bedroom.

.

.

"Mom! I'm home! Where are you, Mom?" Demyx called out, dropping his backpack by the stairs, surprised to see his mother's chair unoccupied and her blanket folded on the arm. That was weird. She was always in that chair now. A quick search of the house revealed nothing of his mother's whereabouts. Maybe she had gone out to the backyard to enjoy some sunshine. Calling out for her once more as he stepped through the patio door, a small smile lit up Demyx's face as he saw his mom laying under the tree in the backyard on a bright orange blanket. Maybe they were going to have a picnic!

Running while calling out to her, Demyx got halfway across the lawn before realizing something was wrong. His mom was slumped against the tree trunk, but she didn't seem to be moving. After only a few more steps, he noticed that it wasn't a blanket at all, but the tarp that they kept in the garage. There also seemed to be something red on the tarp that was reflecting in the sunlight.

"M..Mom…Mommy?" Demyx whispered, his voice cracking and airy, trying to find the strength to scream, to run or collapse. Only finding enough to continue closer, it was only then that Demyx noticed the vast amounts of blood that seemed to be pooling around her waist and chest, all seeping from one side of her head. At the sight, Demyx fell to his knees, unable to walk any longer, tears clouding his vision as he dragged himself along the grass towards the tarp and his mother's body. Whispering a quiet mantra of 'Mom', he crawled over the tarp, uncaring of the sticky red mess that began to cover him as he finally reached his mother's side. With shaky hand's, he first touched her arm. So thin and so cold… At the contact, the tenuous hold he had on his emotions let loose like a tidal wave as large sobs began to rock his body. With the last of his strength, Demyx wrapped his arms around her lifeless chest, laying his head on her silent breast, crying as he let himself be held in one last hold.

.

.

"So, yeah. My dad found us a little while later and pulled me away from her. He took me inside and called Emergency Services. Then he broke down. That's when Dad stopped looking at me. Things were never the same between us after that. We found her suicide note a couple of days later. She didn't want us to have to deal with the pain of seeing her fade away before our eyes. I don't think that that quiet worked out the way she planned though," Demyx laughed lightly as he turned to face his friend with one of his famous smiles, "Dad and I are working on rebuilding our relationship now. Its not always easy with him still traveling with the orchestra all the time, but it's coming along, and I love spending all the time I can with him."

Zexion felt the mask of indifference he wore melting away, "Demyx, I never knew…"

Demyx just laughed, "Well, seeing as Seifer, Axel and now you are the only ones I've ever talked about this with, I don't know how you would have known."

"Still…" Zexion trailed off, "If you ever get tired of that act, you can always be yourself around me."

Laughing even louder, Demyx looked intently at his friend, "Did you really just say that? That was so totally cheesy!"

Blushing slightly beneath a scowl, Zexion just turned away from Demyx's aqua gaze, "Whatever."

"But thanks for listening. Sometimes it does help to talk about it," Demyx smiled, "You know, I may not fully understand, but I am a good listener when it comes to Mama Drama too."

Looking over at his blond friend with a new light, Zexion found one corner of his mouth twitching upwards in a one sided smile. "Thanks, I might just have to take you up on that offer sometime."

* * *

Poor, poor Demyx, atleast this is the start of what is sure to be a beautiful relationship :) 

If you like this story please check out some of our other stories from our Family Tree Universe in our archives :) And as always, if you would like to see where the pairings and family lines came from please go view our deviant art page, http :/ crymsonpahoyhoy . deviantart . com /, minus all of the spaces ;) The deviations are called FF KH Family Tree.

**P.S. Oh please, oh please, oh please review! It will make us want to write more if you like it :D**


End file.
